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Frequently Asked Questions...
Clarity from the Start

Are you wondering whether mediation or coaching might be right for you?

Here you will find answers to the most common questions I hear during initial conversations.

​Whether you are curious about the mediation process in general or the possibilities mediation can offer – my goal is to help you get to know me and my work better so you can make an informed decision.

And if you still have questions or you are unsure whether your concern fits here; feel free to reach out. In a free orientation call, we will clarify everything together.

Question: What exactly is mediation and how can mediation help us?

“If we try to talk about certain things, it escalates into a big argument within minutes.”

“We simply don’t know how to talk to each other peacefully anymore.”

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I often hear these kinds of statements when first meeting clients. Mediation is a proven way to navigate such situations. It provides a safe and structured space where everyone is heard – without judgment or interruption.

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As a mediator, I support my clients in gaining clarity: What is really behind the conflict? What needs, what injuries or misunderstandings are in the room? And how can we get back to peaceful conversations with each other?

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The key benefit: In mediation, you develop your own solutions, that fit uniquely for your situation. I don't give advice, but accompany the process in such a way that everyone involved feels safe and can reach sustainable agreements together.

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​If you have the feeling that mediation could also be the right path for you, I invite you to a non-binding initial consultation. Together we will see how I can best support you.

Question: How long does a mediation session last, and what are the costs?

A session for couples or family mediation usually lasts 1.5 to 2.5 hours. Multiple sessions are often needed, depending on the complexity of the topics and how quickly you make progress together.

  • Couples/family mediation: €120 per hour

  • Team mediation: €150 per hour (details and planning are discussed in advance)

  • Individual coaching: €90 per hour

In our first meeting, we will discuss how many sessions are likely and what suits your situation – so you have full cost transparency. My aim is to create a space where you can fully focus on the conversation – open, transparent, and without financial surprises. For more details, see Pricing.

Question: Does mediation online work as well as in-person sessions?

Here I would like to say quite openly that a personal meeting would always be the first choice for me, as we can "completely" observe each other, i.e. with all facial expressions and gestures.

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However, mediation online also works surprisingly well and there can be many reasons why a meeting online is just as good or even better. In addition to the different places the participants might live, reasons for online mediation can also be the spatial distance of the participants, if a personal meeting is not (yet) desired and an initial approach becomes possible online.

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Another advantage of online mediation is the flexibility in terms of time and space. You can get involved from home or another familiar place, without having to travel.

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In some cases, a mix of online and in-person sessions also works well. I’m happy to explore with you what format best suits your needs.

 

Question: Do all participants have to participate voluntarily?

Yes. Mediation only works if everyone involved participate voluntarily.

Coercion or pressure have no place in the process. Mediation is built on trust, willingness, and openness.

Even if someone is not ready to participate yet, I’m happy to speak with you individually. In such cases, conflict coaching may be a helpful way for you to start working on the issue from your perspective.

 

Question: How confidential is mediation?

Confidentiality is a cornerstone of mediation.

Everything that is discussed in the sessions stays between us. I am not permitted to share anything without your consent.

From the start, we also agree together if, and with whom, certain content may be shared. This creates trust and allows for open, honest dialogue.

 

Question: How is a mediation agreement created, and how binding is it?

At the end of a successful mediation, the participants document their results in a written mediation agreement. This is created voluntarily and collaboratively, guided and structured by the mediator. The contents are based entirely on what you’ve worked out together.

The agreement is written in clear and understandable language. If needed, it can be legally reviewed or supplemented, and even used as a basis for notarized agreements.

Under German civil law, a mediation agreement becomes binding if all parties sign it voluntarily. It is treated as a private contract. If additional legal enforceability is required (e.g., for payments), it can be notarized or confirmed by a court.

What makes a mediation agreement especially strong is that it is truly your own – jointly developed, meaningful, and supported by all parties.

Question: What is the difference between couples mediation and couples counselling?

While the terms sound similar, their focus and approach differ:

  • Couples counselling supports you in understanding your relationship dynamics, improving communication, and working on the partnership. It focuses on growth and personal development.

  • Couples mediation is more solution-oriented, helping you navigate concrete conflicts or make decisions, such as around separation, custody, or finances. Here, I act as a neutral facilitator.

In short: counselling strengthens the relationship, while mediation resolves conflicts and finds agreements. With training in both areas, I tailor the support to your specific needs.

Question: What are the benefits of mediation during separation – compared to going straight to a lawyer? 

Separating involves many tough decisions – about children, finances, or how to handle things respectfully moving forward. Going directly to a lawyer often leads to legal battles.

Mediation offers an alternative: You stay in control and find fair, mutually supported solutions. This reduces stress, saves costs, and protects what truly matters to you and your family.

Mediation encourages peaceful conflict resolution and creates a solid foundation for co-parenting and life after separation.

Question: Is there an age limit for involving children or adolescents in mediation?

There is no strict age limit. Adolescents aged around 14 and up can usually participate meaningfully in the process, if all parties agree.

For younger children, I work primarily with the parents and, if needed, specialized professionals to represent their interests and ensure child-friendly solutions.

It is essential that everyone’s perspective is taken into account in a way that is appropriate and respectful.

Question: How does team mediation work in practice?

Team mediation follows a structured, multi-phase process:

  1. Preliminary conversations: I speak with each team member individually to understand concerns, expectations, and perspectives.

  2. Kick-off meeting: Together, we define the goal and outline how the collaboration will work.

  3. Conflict clarification: In group sessions, everyone is heard. We explore what lies behind the conflict and build shared understanding.

  4. Solution development: Together, we formulate clear agreements and team rules – practical, transparent, and lasting.

  5. Conclusion and next steps: We document the results and discuss how to move forward.

Depending on your context, it may make sense to involve leadership or plan for follow-up formats. I design the process to fit your team's structure and needs.

Question: Which topics are suitable for team mediation?

Team mediation is helpful when tension, miscommunication, or unresolved conflict disrupt cooperation. Typical topics include:

  • Unclear roles or expectations

  • Communication breakdowns

  • Ongoing tensions between individuals or with management

  • Fallout from restructuring or team changes

  • Clashes over values or working styles

Important: Seeking mediation is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of leadership and responsibility. It is an opportunity to strengthen collaboration in a constructive, lasting way.

Question: What if the conflict is very emotional?

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Strong emotions are a natural part of conflict – and in mediation, there is space for them.

We establish shared ground rules for respectful discussion. As your mediator, I ensure structure and support so that emotions can be expressed without overwhelming the process.

This allows for a constructive and calm path forward, even in emotionally charged situations.

Question: What if we can not reach an agreement in mediation?

Sometimes it is not possible to reach a complete agreement on all issues.

In such cases, we document the progress made and clarify where further work may be needed. You remain in control of how to proceed: continue mediation, seek other support, or pause the process.

Many clients find that even without a final agreement, the mediation provides clarity and orientation for their next steps.

Question: What happens after mediation? Is there follow-up support?

Yes. A follow-up meeting is often helpful and can be arranged at any time.

In this session, we reflect on how the agreements are working:

  • What’s going well?

  • What has changed in communication?

  • Are agreements still supported by all?

  • Are there new challenges?

  • What might need to be clarified or adjusted?

  • Is further support helpful?

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This reflection helps stabilize results and foster trust for the future.

Question: What if your question is not listed here?

Then feel free to get in touch with me directly!
Not every situation fits neatly into a standard question – and sometimes, all it takes is a short personal conversation to gain clarity.

I'm happy to take the time for your concern – in a relaxed, non-binding way.
Often, the most important question is the one that hasn’t (yet) made it onto the list.

Address

Schreiter House

Rudolf-Diesel-Straße 3

40822 Mettmann

Phone

0049 174 26 20 434

E-Mail

info@hesterberg-mediation.de

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